‘Why do I have to be punished because of their allergies’: Mom and stepdad only allow kid to eat what their dairy and shellfish-allergic step-siblings eat, even on special birthday occasions

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 6, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

When it comes to severe food allergies, it's always better safe than sorry. You don't want to run the risk of you or your children going into a state of anaphylaxis, especially if it could have been prevented with proper precautionary measures. This isn't to say that you must restrict your kids from going out to a restaurant, but it's important that you teach them to coexist in a world where there's food that might harm them (if they're not careful).

What do you do when the majority of the kids in your household have food allergies, but one has none? Well, there's no easy answer; do you condemn every food in the world that contains an allergen for the sake of your two stepkids, and disallow your biological kid from enjoying the food they are capable of eating safely? Well, it all depends on the severity of the allergy, sure—but refusing to allow your child to eat at a restaurant of their choosing on special occasions definitely crosses this line. The kid in this next story even goes out of their way to find other restaurants that are allergen-free, but their biological mother refuses to break the routine of going to the same restaurant the kid hates. Scroll below to read the full story.

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  • wing mly in onds to outer "My special birthday never feels special because I can't eat anything I like.”" yin rug EMERGEN NOCAL HELP ET EMERGENC CAL HELP END
    via Pixelumina Photography for Unsplash

  • "AITA for saying my special birthday dinner's aren't special for me and I don't want them anymore?"

    For years my mom and stepdad have only eaten out or gotten takeout from one place because of my stepsiblings allergies. Both have an allergy to peanuts and
    via Horrathorne
  • other kinds of nuts. My stepbrother (11) has a dairy allergy and my stepsister (12) has a seafood/shellfish allergy. Their allergies were diagnosed around the time my mom met my stepdad.
    via Horrathorne
  • When we all moved in together it became an allergen free zone. I (16m) was 7 at the time. It didn't bother me too much until I realized how strict they'd be
    via Horrathorne
  • about it. Even though my stepbrother could be around dairy I wasn't allowed ice cream or any chocolate that had milk in it. I couldn't eat pizza either because of the cheese.
    via Horrathorne
  • Then my parents found a restaurant that had no nuts or shellfish or dairy and they decided we'd never eat or order takeout from anywhere else. It's
    via Horrathorne
  • kinda vegan but not strictly vegan I don't think. I don't like their food. It all tastes weird to me. They don't even have regular fries on the menu. It's either
    via Horrathorne
  • another vegetable used as fries or sweet potatoes which I hate. I hate eating out or ordering takeout because of it and for years we've celebrated all our birthdays there with family.
    via Horrathorne
  • I found other nut free restaurants that had allergy safe menu's but my parents wouldn't even look at the menu. They said we had our restaurant and we didn't need
    via Horrathorne
  • another one. Whenever I asked if we could order from different places for my birthday they'd say no. They said we always get takeout from there and that's
    via Horrathorne
  • where we'll always get our food. A few times they said it's too much work to try out new places when we have it easy with "our choice".
    via Horrathorne
  • My special birthday dinner never feels special because I can't eat anything I like. For a few birthdays I was grumpy and withdrawn when we'd eat there
    via Horrathorne
  • and my mom would tell me to change my attitude and appreciate what I have and the family that I get a special dinner for my birthday. That not all families could afford to eat out for their birthdays every year.
    via Horrathorne
  • Cheezburger Image 10524536576
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Last year when I turned 15 I got into a fight with my mom when I told her my birthday dinner should be something I like and I didn't want to eat that nasty food
    via Horrathorne
  • anymore. Mom said that was such a disrespectful thing to say and what about my stepsiblings, what are they supposed to do if we go somewhere else. I said
    via Horrathorne
  • other than nuts they can be around dairy or shellfish and they're around all that stuff out in the wild. So why do I have to be punished because of their
    via Horrathorne
  • allergies. My stepdad told me to watch how I spoke because it would hurt my stepsiblings. feelings and his, because he'd like to think us being a family and able to eat together was enough.
    via Horrathorne
  • When we got to the restaurant I was miserable and they kept correcting me for looking angrier than usual. After that I swore I wouldn't do it anymore so a
    via Horrathorne
  • couple of months ago, before my birthday last week, I told them I didn't want a special dinner or meal with the family and I was done with eating as a family for my birthdays and for anything
    via Horrathorne
  • else like my graduation. I told them it's not special for me and I hate it and I don't like the food and I'd rather ignore my birthday than that. They tried to plan a birthday dinner anyway but nobody showed since the rest of the family knew how I felt.
    via Horrathorne
  • My parents are angry that I'm "being this way" and my mom tried to make it about the step thing when this would be annoying even if it was just me and her. Who wants to eat sh they don't like on their birthday? Like seriously. AITA?
    via Horrathorne
  • Hoplite68 NTA. Allergies can be incredibly dangerous, but there are ways to let other people live around those allergies. Your parents have instituted this policy out of laziness or fear, and are upset that you're calling them out because they dont want to feel bad about being lazy/cowardly. They also dont like that other people now know about it. You're not responsible for their feelings, and they've ruined enough.
    via Hoplite68
  • goddessofspite NTA. One day when you cut them all off and never speak to them again your mom will be crying and asking what she could possibly have done to deserve this. Show her this and the comments. She's a terrible mother and she shouldn't have had a kid of her own if she was gonna favour someone else's kid.
    via goddessofspite
  • MysteriousMaximum488 Ask your Mom if she ever plans on choosing you?
    via MysteriousMaximum488

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement allergies birthday reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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